Thirty Dollars For Thirty Blessings

Alright already with the Jesus spam. Trust me, few love Jesus as much as I do. I think He's the absolute of all things good, right, and pure. However, if it's one thing I can't stand, it's Jesus spam. "Jesus wanted me to tell you He's sending a blessing your way", "God wants you to send this stupid email to forty of your closest friends", "If you close your eyes for thirty seconds after reading this email, you'll see one of God's angels". Give me a break please. Seriously. I'll be the first to admit that I believe God talks to me. Sometimes He gives me what I need to hear directly or through others. But I can safely say that in my thirty plus years Jesus has NEVER sent me a blessing because I forwarded a corny email to forty eight other unfortunate souls. It's bad enough that I get fictitious missing person reports, riddles that I never have the answer to even after I forward the email to ten of my friends, and articles featuring the country's dumbest criminals. Now I have to deal with Jesus spam and the fact that I may fail Him and the entire human race if I don't send Rev. So and So $500. I love Jesus. I really do, but I think that if he had a My Space page, he'd rarely visit it and he certainly wouldn't spend a bunch of time emailing people and sending them on fruitless missions. He'd be too busy saving souls. Perhaps those who send me Jesus spam should aspire to do the same.