Though the feminist in me sometimes tells me I shouldn't, I suppose I would like a man in my life. However, despite my interest in a relationship, I, unlike a lot of women I know, manage to avoid obsession with being some man's girlfriend or Mrs. So And So. Having said that, I can't help but wonder where married women get off sharing their "trade secrets" with single women about how to bag a husband or why they insist on talking to single women as if we have a serious case of the cooties.
I can't stand it when a woman I know is engaged or newly married and says things to me like, "Don't worry, it will happen for you too one day" or "Well, you know, Leroy has a lot of single friends so maybe we can get you hooked up" or "Ms. M, if you would just be a little more open and accepting, you too could meet your Prince Charming like I did". Ugh <--- (that's the sound I make as I'm sticking my finger down my throat). When did I ever say I was worried or devastated that Mr. Right hasn't come along? So, what I'm wondering is if becoming engaged or getting married gives women some kind of magical powers that she feels compelled to share with the poor single women. I mean, what the hell makes them think that just because they are in love, I'm dying from loneliness? When was my personal happiness ever tied into what another woman does and what makes them think that what they have is so damn great? I mean, I LOVE love. I really do. The thought of being in love and being loved back in the manner I want and need is a wonderful thought. However, I really am more than fine in the meantime. I may be without romantic love, but I possess the most important kinds of love already. Love of God, love of family, and love of friends. Any other love is like extra icing on my already frosted cake. Furthermore, if these women were so good at finding the right man, as a friend, I wouldn't have had to watch them make all the wrong choices prior to meeting Mr. Right. How can she be qualified to give me advice when she just barely got it together herself and why should a proposal from a man be gained with trickery and manipulation? No thanks, I'd much rather be pursued of a man's own free will than to quietly (or in some cases, not so quietly) trick him into believing marrying me is what he wants over time. A husband by hook or crook is really not my style.
I also hate it when I share my dating drama and am met with the response of, "Girl, I'm so glad I don't have to go through that anymore. I just wouldn't know what to do with myself if I was single". Wow. Yes, folks, this is exactly the kind of thing that makes single women resentful of married women. No, it isn't that we're jealous. In many cases we are actually GRATEFUL that we aren't married. Especially is being married will turn us into a presumptuous, pompous, condescending, bitch. Better to be single and at peace than to marry the first schmuck who comes along just to change a Miss. to a Mrs. So, I just really want to get across the point that single women aren't poor, disadvantaged, urchins to be pitied. We are independent, smart, and hopefully, picky women who enjoy life to the fullest even without the presence of a man. Imagine that. So, no, we don't need you to hook us up out of pity. We don't need you to remind us how glad you are that you're married and not single like us and we certainly don't need your stupid advice on how to "cajole" a man into proposing. We are just fine, thank you very much.
