I've tried so incredibly hard to remain silent on this matter because I hate the whole bandwagon thing and I can't claim to be an expert on something I didn't even see. However, something happened the other night that has caused me to feel the need to talk about this. Just so you know, I'm starting this whole thing off with a really deep and loud sigh. The other night while driving I did something I rarely do. I turned on the radio. What I heard when I turned it on was something that reminded me of why I rarely listen to anything but NPR or cds and how it amazes me that people can be so hypocritical and not even know they are doing it. I'm sure by now you're wondering what in the world I'm talking about. I'm referring to the ridiculous song, "Chris Brown Should Get His Ass Kicked" by Smoke Jumpers. While I do have to admit that the bit was pretty "sick" as so passionately stated in the song, I also must admit that the song pissed me off to say the least. Now before anyone gets angry and thinks I condone domestic violence, I just need to get a few things off my chest.
I remember that at the beginning of each of my elementary school years the teacher would lay out the class rules. One of the top three rules was always "Keep your hands, feet, and objects to yourself". I thought the first two things made sense but always wondered about "objects". I suppose that had to be in the wording for the idiots who would throw a desk at another kid and then argue that he shouldn't get in trouble because afterall, it wasn't a hand or a foot. Anyway, even though the rule is elementary, it's something that I still carry with me today and I wish more people would do the same. Nope, I don't think it was okay for Chris Brown to attack Rihanna, if that is in fact what happened at all. However, I have to say that it is A) equally wrong for a woman to put her hands on a man and B) incredibly hypocritical for radio personalities and anyone else to tout the virtues of this new song while still condoning many of the other popular tunes on the airways.
When revisiting the "Hands, feet, and objects" rule, I noticed that it isn't gender specific. The sentence doesn't start with, "BOYS, keep your hands, feet, and objects to yourself". There is no part B to the rule that says "GIRLS, please understand that boys are required to keep their hands, feet, and objects to themselves but this does not expressly apply to you, Princess". There is a reason for the rule being written the way it is. That reason is that NOBODY should be putting his or her hands on ANYBODY else. As someone who has experienced domestic violence on a personal level, I definitely don't speak to defend anyone who perpetrates it but I firmly believe that males and females are done a great disservice due to the social more that expressly says a real man should never hit a woman instead of decent people never lay their hands on each other in any way that isn't loving. People need to take responsibility for their actions. Not only do men need to own up to their choices but so do women. I've been involved with a few men that I considered hitting over the head with the nearest object but I always refer to the elementary rule and I also consider the fact that I don't want to be with anyone who would make me even consider hitting him as an option. A man that would upset me to that degree has no business being in my life and I feel the same needs to apply to any man or woman feeling the urge to engage in angry physical contact with a significant other. However, this lack of balance in what we teach our children and adults isn't the only thing that pisses me off about this whole scenario. I'm also appalled by the hypocrisy.
My assumption is that Smoke Jumpers recorded that song because they, like many, were appalled that this man (allegedly) put his hands on a young woman and beat her. My other assumption is that radio stations are playing the song ( and boycotting Chris Brown songs) because they firmly believe that what allegedly happened on that night was an absolute abomination. The one time I heard the song, the radio personality's voice rang out with an air of of indignation and judgment as he fervently stated how much he liked the song and its message. What really kills me the most is that while there is a moratorium at many stations on playing Chris Brown music, there is no moratorium on disrespecting women in non-physical ways. There are still hoes in different area codes, bust it babies, pimps on wax, and songs about strippers, groupies, chicken heads, and baby mommas of the worst varieties. It's still okay to "supersoak that ho" all while accompanying it with a special dance. I suppose all of this is alright just as long as the song isn't about beating a woman because God forbid a man put his hands on a woman. However, disrespecting her by calling her a bitch, ho, slut, trick, or bust it baby is all good because that is not a hands on activity. Excitedly, interviewing men who refer to themselves as pimps on a radio show or video show is all good. Seeing your good friend on the street and greeting him with, "What's happenin' pimpin' " is alright even though it is common knowledge that pimps beat their hoes to "keep them in line". I keep wondering when people will wake up. We cannot choose one crime and claim it to be the most heinous against women and then turn around and call the same women we are claiming to defend everything but a nice young lady. That is hypocrisy of the worst degree and sends yet another mixed message whose fallout is something for which we will never be prepared.
Perhaps I'll put out an album naming off who all I think should receive an ass kicking and trust me, Chris Brown wouldn't even make my top ten. Until that day, I'm going to continue to keep my hands, feet, objects, and hypocrisy to myself.
