Just To Get The Booty

Back when I was married, I would occasionally lament to my husband that he had stopped doing all the little things I liked that he used to do while we dating. I would say things like, "How come you never surprise me at work with flowers anymore?" or "Remember when you used to buy me little toys for my desk? What happened to that?" My husband had one standard answer for my questions; "Oh, I was just doing that to get the booty". This leads me to wonder just how many of the things people do for one another during the course of a courtship are actually heartfelt and how many of those things are done "just to get the booty".

Of course many women would say that they aren't just as guilty as the men in these areas but I would have to beg to differ. While a man's motivation may be to get into a woman's pants, often a woman's motivation is to either get in a man's wallet or to get her name next to his on a marriage certificate. I have a friend who desperately wants to be married. She told me that she tries to keep her hair done, her makeup on, and her weight down because she knows this will increase her marketability with men. She further explained to me that once she gets a man to marry her, she will no longer have to do all of the things she did before because she'd be a married woman. Wow, right?

Now some may find my friend's actions pretty crazy but her way of thinking is no worse than my ex-husband's. It's all an exercise in bait and switch tactics used for personal gain be it a change in marital status or another person to add to the "I hit that" list. Perhaps I am of a dying breed, but I am a very firm believer that the things one does to get someone are the same things one should do to keep him or her. I don't know about anyone else, but I don't want to be fooled into la relationship with the allure of certain qualities only to find that I've gotten myself into a relationship with some unromantic, self-centered, nut-scratchin', belchin' and fartin', fool. Especially not when I started out with an attentive, romantic, caring, compassionate, well-groomed, and handsome gentleman. I can't really speak for men but I'm pretty sure they feel the same way about women.

I think a lot of the bait and switch could be counteracted if we all focused on trying to get the most meaning out of our romantic relationships instead of taking the shallow route and just trying to settle for any husband or any piece of tail. When we focus on what's really important and connect to someone who really means something to us, we won't have to worry about him or her just trying to get the booty. We'll automatically be glad to give it up.

Sorry Melvin, You Got To Die

I suppose after thirty plus years of watching television I should be used to some things. Unfortunately, no matter how many shows I watch or how many years go by, I still get annoyed by the fact that the black guy has to be the first to die no matter what show it is. For some reason (most likely lack of anything else to watch) I ended up watching One Tree Hill (yuck) last night. As far as I can see, there are only two black people on the show and probably in the entire town. A basketball coach (of course) and a younger member of the basketball team (go figure). The student goes into a gas station and unwittingly walks in on a robbery where the thief has already killed the store clerk. All I could do was shake my head. Not in surprise, you see, for I already know that on a show where there is one person who stands out, that character will most likely be the first to die. So, the next episode’s trailer shows all the sad white folks going to the boy’s funeral. I don’t even know why I let it bother me anymore. I should be completely used to it, but it still seems unfair. There are, however, ways one can tell the black guy is going to die so that one can avoid watching in the first place:

1)He is the only black person on the show. This means there is no one with which to pair him up (it happens sometimes but is highly unlikely they will pair him up with the white woman).

2)He is a rough around the edges thug in a town full of middle to upper-middle-class white folks who take him on as a charity case.

3)He is needed in order for the high school or college team to win the championship (after the big game, there is no longer a need for his presence so he may as well get killed).

If you, like me, are tired of Melvin always being the first to die, watch for these signs and avoid further annoyance.