I left home this morning feeling kinda cute. My outfit was on point (or so I thought) and I tried something different with my hair that I thought was cute. I left the house feeling good and a little proud of myself for making the extra effort which I rarely do for work (who wants to get dressed up for a bunch of old fat guys anyway). I spent most of the day sitting in my cell, or cubicle, depending on who you ask. About an hour before my work day ended, I went into the restroom and took a look in the mirror at what I thought was my handiwork. I LOOKED A MESS. My hair looked like I needed an appointment in the very worst way. My eyes looked puffy and tired like I hadn't slept in two days. My skin looked dry which made the makeup in my bag desperately call out to me and my outfit made me look fat. I was shocked to say the least. I kept trying to figure out the difference between the lighting at my house and the lighting at work and what kind of evil force in my car or cubicle made me go from sugar to shit in just a few short hours. I mean, was I that disillusioned that I could think I was cute in the comfort of my own home but later learn that I really looked a mess in the public eye? What the hell happened to me and why didn't my coworker pull me to the side to to tell me that I looked like I just rolled over and showed up for the party? After careful consideration, I've decided that in order to avoid further fashion humiliation, I need to hire myself an Overall Look Improver. This person with his/her amazing attention to details will give me the once over prior to me leaving the house in the morning followed by a midday review right after lunch. I can't go wrong with the extra help. I obviously can't do it for myself but I may be able to do it for others. I'm currently taking applications.
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