It Isn't Cute

When I look around me at what's happening in the world, I often ask the question, "Just what the hell is going on here?" Once again, I found myself asking it this morning. I was reading the "news" and came across an article talking about how Jamie Lynn Spears, teenage mom extraordinaire, is on the cover of OK Magazine (again) posing with her brand new baby. The heading read, "Being a mom is the best feeling in the world!" and shows Jamie Lynn holding her baby and wearing an ugly, old lady dress (I guess that was supposed to make her seem conservative or wholesome). I stared at the picture for a long time shaking my head because I couldn't understand A) when being a teenaged mom became cute B) when a teenaged girl living with and making a baby with an adult male became acceptable C) when it became alright to be in the two previous mentioned scenarios as long as one has plenty of money.

Where I came from, being a teenage mother was never the cool thing to do. We didn't high-five and idolize girls who got pregnant when I was in jr. high and high school. While we may have continued friendships, we definitely resolved to not end up in the same situation and we certainly never celebrated the impending pregnancy of our teenaged friends as though the event was the best thing that could have happened to her. If a friend announced she was pregnant, we were all instantly sad and at sixteen I certainly did not have the wherewithal to go out and purchase a bunch of baby gifts. Hell, at that age, I didn't even know what a registry was let alone a binky. Now many girls seem to get excited at the possibility of being pregnant. They become rock stars with 9 month contracts guaranteeing their high status while young boys walk around chest butting each other as if depositing sperm into a young girl is some amazing feat. Now this problem has traveled from the hood to the mainstream and has suddenly become acceptable. A teen aged mother is on the cover of a magazine holding her baby and smiling as if she has not a care in the world and because she's young and wealthy, it's cute. While I don't think she should ever be ashamed of her child, I do not in any way find this scenario attractive. Even less attractive is the fact that she is now living with her grown-man boyfriend while raising said baby.

At which point is everyone going to be angry about the fact that this under aged girl is not only now a mother, but is "engaged" to a boy who had been having sex with her illegally? When did it become okay for a then sixteen year old girl to move in with her nineteen year old boyfriend? Was there something I missed? Having a baby has never made a girl a grown up and the last I checked, she's still a minor and should therefore have her baby-bearing ass at home until her mother has filled her legal obligation to raise her. Letting the girl play house with a grown man doesn't at all seem to be the thing a good mother would do as far as I can see. Maybe I'm holding on to common sense and old-fashioned values a little too hard...but I doubt it. Unfortunately, these days it seems as though standards are less important than money.

The recurring point I come across is that the entire situation is cool because, after all, she has lots of money to support the child. To me, this way of thinking completely disregards the real issues. Teen pregnancy has never been a problem simply because of money. Furthermore, while money is needed in order to take care of a child's basic needs, it doesn't prepare a sixteen or seventeen year old for parenthood. Money buys things but unfortunately, there still hasn't been a way found to use money to buy wisdom, knowledge, maturity/, or common sense, all of which are needed to raise a child. Money won't change a teen parent's age, life experience, or mental capacity to understand what it means to be permanently responsible for the well-being of another person.

I wish the double standard between teen moms with money and those without a pot to piss in were eradicated. It's never the best look for a child to have a baby as a teenager. Sure, there will always be those who make different choices that lead to pregnancy. However, these choices should not be celebrated.