Have you ever been sleeping so deeply for so long that you didn't even realize you weren't conscious? Today I received a wake up call that was so true and so on time that it made me disgusted about how much time I've spent oversleeping. I suppose there are times when only someone who knows you best can wake you up. While I was asleep, others tried to softly call my name, gently nudge me, or even rub my back with the softest of hands to try to bring me to the land of the living. None of those attempts worked. I suppose everyone thought I'd just stay asleep but all that changed today when someone who knows me best woke me up by clanging cymbals, ripping the covers off my bed of self-loathing, and kicking me square in the ass. I can say it was one of the harshest awakenings I've ever had, but at least now I'm with the living and ready to experience what I've been depriving myself of while making love to my sheets of doubt, disgust, disappointment, and self-judgment. I guess that's what it takes sometimes; a real friend who knows you inside and out to tell you that you're being and idiot by staying asleep while everyone else is awake and partaking in life's good things. Sometimes everything that's wrong feels so powerful that burrowing into the blankets and resting my head upon an extra soft pillow seems to be the best solution. Unfortunately, no matter how long you sleep, naptime is just a band aid for the gaping wound. Sure, I'm still a little groggy and I don't think I'll be able to fully function until I've had some breakfast, but at least I'm not asleep anymore. Good morning.
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