It's Not So Hip To Be Square

I was never a 12 year old runaway or a juvenile delinquent resident of a group home. I didn't get pregnant at 16 and end up the mother of six by the age of 21. I don't have six fathers for those six babies either. I read much higher than a third grade level and I've never done any time. And though I consider myself to be pretty "normal", it seems there are little to no benefits to being a straight arrow.

In the past week or so, I've filled out several different pieces of paperwork in order to determine my eligibility for school financial aid. Four hours worth of forms later, I received an email advising me that I am not eligible for anything other than a ridiculously expensive student loan simply because I'm paid too much. Of course, the fact that I'm living paycheck to paycheck, paying all of my own bills, skimping on groceries (I'm getting a little tired of homemade soup), staying home in order to conserve gas, and doing all of these things on a furloughed income, is completely irrelevant to the government who administers the aid. They also seem to have no concern for the fact that I'm a taxpayer whose working dollars go toward paying money so that the woman with six babies and six different fathers can go to school in my place.

I just don't get it. How is it that it works to my detriment to be a responsible, intelligent, hard-working, well-read individual? Why is the fact that I haven't completely ruined my life with bad choices something that works against me when it comes to me trying to further improve the quality of my life? In all this, it truly seems as if my life would ultimately have been better had I done all the "wrong" things. There are grants for single women with a bunch of babies, grants for impoverished students living on the street due to running away, and aid for kids in foster care. And, please have no misunderstanding, I'm not saying that these people shouldn't have the opportunity to further their educations. As a matter of fact, I wish them well and love to see people rise above their adversity. However, I am saying that I work EVERY DAY. I pay taxes. I am responsible for myself and my actions. My life is not government funded and yet, when it is time for me to take advantage of the programs that I vote for and support with my tax dollars, I am turned down because my life isn't pathetic enough.

Where is the grant or scholarship for the woman who didn't get pregnant multiple times before her 18th birthday? Where is the reward for the person who made different life choices that didn't warrant assistance from welfare? Where are the food stamp cards for full time students who work part or full time consistently busting their butts to climb the success ladder? Where is the funding for the REGULAR? Each day I work to help some of the country's downtrodden better themselves. For the opportunity to help others, I am grateful. However, I'd be even more glad if the fact that this helper needs help was recognized.