First Things First

I've been spending a lot of time lately thinking about choices and priorities. I realize that sometimes the results of our actions are not desired but regardless of our desires, we have to ultimately be responsible and accept the consequences of our choices. I suppose I'm mostly thinking about the moves I see people make when they are parents. For many, there seems to be no acknowledgement of the fact that having a child means certain adjustments and sacrifices must be made for the benefit of that child. When a little one comes into one's life, some parties have to be missed, some dates have to be rescheduled, and some new shoes have to go on layaway in order to assure that the child has what he needs. For some reason this thinking which should be common to all parents seems to be foreign to many.

In recent times I've seen some of the most irresponsible and damaging behavior on the part of some young parents I know. Seven year olds have no business up at ten o'clock p.m. on a school night. Children should not be sleeping on a floor or couch at some strange woman's house while hes/her father goes in the bedroom to "blow the woman's back out". As difficult as it may be to believe, children need dinner which includes VEGETABLES. They need boundaries, a clean environment, to have morals and values taught to them both verbally and by living example. Children are not just another thing to add to one's life checklist. "Okay, school, check, job, check, nice place to live, check, good car, check, 2.5 babies, check." NO! Children should not be an afterthought or another chore that needs completing. They should be a priority and a source of pride and joy. One should feel some type of sense of obligation to one's children. They aren't a plant that needs to be watered once a week. They are human beings who need love and guidance on a consistent basis. Before having children or doing the thing that brings them into existence, one should consider if going to the club, never missing a party, taking spontaneous road trips, or spending money recklessly is more of a priority than raising a child. One shouldn't feel bad if those things are more important. There is a time for all to be selfish. However, that time no longer exists once a child comes onto the scene. Raise yourself and raise your child.