He Went To Jared (Ugh)

I hate the jewelry commercials on tv. Two or three women sitting together with one gushing because some guy bought her an engagement ring while the others stare dreamy-eyed desperately trying to mask their envy while hoping that one day they'll "luck out" and get one too. Aside from the obvious sickening corniness of the commercials, I've noticed that the man always seems super calm and somewhat removed as he presents this all-important piece of jewelry. I suppose it's easy to be cool when he knows that the likelihood of being turned down is slim to none. In these commercials women look like desperate damsels and men seem like ring-bearing Lotharios. This makes me think I really hate those commercials less for their stomach-turning corny features and more for what they imply about the relationships between men and women.

I'll be the first to say that I think getting engaged is good news, provided one is engaged to the right person. Getting married is good news as well. (Provided the parties involved followed the aforementioned guideline of engagement.) I'm certainly not against romance and commitment in any way. I am, however, completely against the stereotype of the woman who eagerly awaits the invitation to marry some man so that her life can begin and the equally annoying stereotype of the man who is so aware that the woman is desperate that he can cure all ills with a little rock from the closest jewelry store.

I keep wondering how relationships reached this level of superficiality. I wonder when we got to the point where everything could be fixed with a wedding ceremony. If at least one woman would ask me, I'd tell her that getting married to the wrong person only serves to magnify all the existing problems. It doesn't fix anything. It just creates a miserable existence which is certainly not worth the ability to say she's now "Mrs. So and So" instead of plain old, "Miss". I would tell her how getting caught up in the "He Went To Jared" phenomenon without any real forethought or investigation into who he really is and how healthy the relationship really is for her, can ruin her peace of mind, her good thoughts about herself, and even her credit. I would tell her that just because something looks good on paper doesn't mean it looks good on her life. I would tell her that regret is a bitch and trying to save face in front of friends and family isn't an easy task.

Please don't get me wrong. Again, I totally support healthy courtships, healthy engagements, and even healthier marriages. I love the idea and look forward to the day when I experience one. However, it is that concept women and men should cling to without being willing to just settle for the ring.