Ode To Big Bloomers

Popular culture and alleged sex appeal say I should be ashamed, but let me boldly proclaim that I LOVE BIG PANTIES! Yes, I know that they aren't very sexy and they leave everything to the imagination with their comfy stretchable elastic waistbands, "pretty" colors like puke green and pumice stone gray, and their miles and miles of soft cottony goodness. While they may not be the most aesthetically pleasing garments, my bottom finds them simply irresistible.

When asked the question about his main turnoff, a friend of mine exclaimed, "White cotton panties!" I smiled to myself while reading his statement and shook my head at his hypocrisy. Men have the pleasure of walking around in comfy boxer briefs (the big bloomer's little brother), boxer shorts that allow maximum freedom, and briefs, which, while fitted, afford the wearer the pleasure of enjoying a somewhat relaxing fit. Women, on the other hand, get to choose between styles like french cut, which, for some of us, fails to provide enough coverage for any excess belly fat, bikini, which is cute but can sometimes roll under the spare tire, and the dreaded thong that can ride up and cause a girl to be concerned about her future as a mother. Men get underwear that covers and keeps them comfortable. Their comfort is kept in mind when their underwear is designed. On the other hand, women's underwear are made with men's desires in mind and I can't figure out for the life of me why being sexy has to be uncomfortable and at times, downright painful.

When I get out of the shower, lotion up, and proceed to get dressed, my first reflex is to grab the big drawers. I want the soft caress of cotton to envelope my skin. I love how the waistband rests ever so gently just beneath my bust line. And more than these things, I love how they manage to keep the yeast monster away. Simply put, big bloomers are a godsend. They aren't made to titillate or improve the sex life ten fold, but they are made to make mama happy. And, if mamas happy, EVERYBODYS happy, including daddy.

While I know it is an impossible task to sell men on the idea of big cotton panties being the new thong, I will continue to sell it to women who, in the solace of their own homes, would love to enjoy the soft and soothing feel of big bloomers on their behinds. It's the good stuff.